Sing it 'til it hurts

Current top ten songs that make the heart wrench just a little more. Some of which I found from our playlist. 


10. If you ask me how I’m doing 
     I would say I’m doing just fine

     I would lie and say that you’re not on my mind

     But  I go out and I sit down at a table set for two

     And finally I’m forced to face the truth

     No matter what they say, I’m not over you

     - "Not Over You"

9. Where have you gone?
   The beach is so cold in winter here
   And where have I gone?
   I wake in Montauk with you near
 
   Remember the day 
   ‘Cause this is what dreams should always be
   I just want to stay
   I just want to keep this dream in me
   - "Losing Your Memory"

8. And I'd give up forever to touch you
   'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
   You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
   And I don't want to go home right now
   - "Iris"
 
7. You never get to choose
   You live on what they sent you
   And you know they’re gonna use
   The things you love against you 
   - "Falling Awake"
 
6. Oh lover I’m old
   You’ll be out there and be thinking just of me
   And I will find you down the road
   We’ll return back home to where we’re meant to be
   - "Duet"
 
5. I’d like to linger with you til the morning
   And pretend the winter has given to spring
   Conjure up guilty reminders together
   Fade into this like we both used to be To carry you on
   - "Tied to Me"
 

4. Bows and flows of angel hair and ice cream castles in the air
   And feather canyons everywhere, looked at clouds that way
   But now they only block the sun, they rain and they snow on everyone
   So many things I would have done but clouds got in my way

   I've looked at clouds from both sides now
   From up and down, still somehow
   It's cloud illusions I recall
   I really don't know clouds at all
   - "Both Sides Now"
 

3. You can’t play on broken strings
   You can’t feel anything that your heart don’t want to feel
   I can’t tell something that ain’t real
   - "Broken Strings"
 

2. Are you really here or am I dreaming?

   I can’t tell dreams from truth

   For it’s been so long since I have seen you

   I can hardly remember your face anymore

   When I get really lonely
   When the distance causes only silence

   I think of you smiling 
   With pride in your eyes, a lover that sighs

   - "If You Want Me"

1. Et nous aurons pour nous l'éternité
   Dans le bleu de toute l'immensité
   Dans le ciel plus de problèmes
   Mon amour crois-tu qu'on s'aime
   Dieu reunit ceux qui s'aiment

   (We would have eternity for ourselves

   In the blue of all the immensity

   In heaven, no more problems

   My love, do you believe that we love each other?

   God reunites those who love each other)

    - "Hymne à L’amour"

California Dreamin'

Whatever I am feeling... I am blaming it on having an extended case of the Mondays (more of a month-long thing), lack of vitamin D (yes, it has been sunny but I am always inside in class or at the Centre), and topped off with school.

School is usually the root of the problem to many things. But I think that’s what happens when you take 5 courses without an elective. Why oh why am I taking so many? *shouting out to the “heavens”* Oh right, it’s because I prefer to finish my undergrad before my ten-year high school reunion. That doesn’t seem likely. I am probably more likely to change my major again right before I am supposed to graduate. It’s kind of my thing.

I don’t really know what to write about. Sadly I have been able to keep up with all my 2012 resolutions except for keeping up maintenance on here. So what random thought can I share?

*thinking* ...

I am missing California. I really want to go there during spring break. I think it would be good for my mental and emotional health. Also just so I could get my Polaroid-photography on. Plus my shorts are collecting dust...

 (Pacific Coast Highway) 

Ever since I first went there, it just feels like a part of me stayed there. It’s found its niche there. Maybe it’s not that I miss California then; maybe it’s just me missing the part of me that’s back there. Or maybe I just miss the person I am while I’m there. There’s a lot of sentimental ties between me and that place.

(Santa Monica walk post-sunset)

So to help me quell my longing for the Golden coast, I have a playlist to help me whenever I fall into this mood. Here are just a few of the songs in an increasingly-growing playlist:

San Diego Serenade – Tom Waits

O Valencia – The Decemberists

California Love – 2Pac ft. Dre (Yeah, how could I not add this song?)

California Waiting  - Kings of Leon

 Santa Monica – Everclear (Probably one of my faves)

California – The Kooks

California English – Vampire Weekend

 California Queen – Wolfmother

 California Sun – Ramones

In California – Neko Case

 New York to California – Mat Kearney

Snow in California – The Stills

The Adventures of Rain Dance Maggie - Red Hot Chili Peppers (So not exactly a song about anything California-related but it showcases Venice Beach wonderfully.)

Maybe if I do enough penny-saving I can do a quick trip up and down. Granted I survive midterms... fingers crossed.

Until next time...

-Caro-

Oh winter... Get here faster!

Despite the rain that seems to be plaguing Vancouver, there is an undeniable feeling of winter in my bones that makes me feel equally excited and calm. The excited part may have something to do with the fact that there’s exactly a month left until Christmas Eve.

Personally, I can’t wait for the snow. Granted, I should clarify that I am only a fan of it when I am either inside watching it fall down gracefully, or I am outside the next day and everything is covered in white and the sun is out. 

What I am not a fan of is watching Vancouverites assuming they can resume with their regular 80 km/hour speed on roads and be utterly surprised when one minute they are driving down a street and the next, their car is teetering on the edge of a ditch. ROAD SENSE PEOPLE, ROAD SENSE!

But seriously, all those non-winter fans! What's not to enjoy about this season! Hot chocolate (or vanilla lattes, white chocolate mochas, spiked egg nog [really the list goes on and on here]), snowboarding (or whatever other snow activity that you prefer), fireplaces, the Christmas buzz (even if  you're not a fan of the shopping-for-gifts aspect, there is a sense of community comradery that exists this time of year - and if you don't feel it then you are hanging out with the wrong crowd), and not to mention bundling up in all those layers of clothes (yes, you can be fashion-forward and still look good when you're wrapped up in layers upon layers to the point you can't see your toes anymore). 

And don't get me started on the view...

That's a view up on cypress. Looks amazing, doesn't it? Or what about...

Up in the Okanagan. Views like this are gorgeous and are worth waking up early in the morning to see or to take a moment for yourself in the evening.

Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!

Now this song isn't winter/Christmas related to the average listener, but the piano in it gives me this majestic feeling where I imagine myself walking in the woods as the snow falls around all around me just as the sun is setting... maybe right during twilight (yes, those that know me well can laugh at me for that). 

The song is called "Let Me Fall in Love" and is written and performed by Marketa Irglova. For anyone who is having one of those "she sounds so familiar"  moments, she is one half of the Swell Season and starred in the indie film Once alongside Glenn Hansard. They won an Oscar for their song, "Falling Slowly" in the film.

Reminder of that one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8mtXwtapX4

 I got to see her perform this past September when she opened up for Iron & Wine. She was a perfect fit for him as the opening act since she has that soft, lullaby voice as well. Best way to describe her performance was that she had the whole audience captivated.

Hope you enjoy the song too!

Until next time...

-Caro-

Only comes once a year...

 

I take a day to tell myself

It’s gonna end up fine

It’s all part of some master plan

We’re all a little lost inside

Even if I run right now

Swore you off

I’d still come back somehow…

2 years ago today and it still feels like the first day… I love you...

Word Vomit

16,000 words and still going strong!

♫ I’m gonna go go go! There’s no stopping me! I’m burning through the skies Yeah! Two hundred degrees! That’s why they call me Mister Fahrenheit! I’m trav’ling at the speed of light! I want to make a supersonic man out of you! Don’t stop me noooooooooooooooooooow! ♫

I’m slowly starting to compile my files together... all 28 of them. Who knows what the word count will be at that point!

I’ve only combined 3 files and that’s my word count so far. Granted there will be TONS of chopping and slicing when I manage to get to the self-editing process but I’m light-years away from that stage still. 

Finding time to write is still my biggest problem. On top of being sick and everything else, I’m starting a part-time job and then a practicum position so there will be a lot of task-juggling and late-night writing/reading/studying binges but, I figure now that I’ve managed to pick up some momentum it’d be a shame to ignore it and stop.

I find that I feel the most motivated to write during my forensic psychology class where we discuss about psychopath profiling, mass homicide cases, gang crimes, etc. ... I don’t know what that says about me... Like I said, I'm just going to go with the momentum and just keep spewing these words  out... like word vomit tee hee hee